


Lost and Found

by QueenSkyster



Category: Poe Dameron - Fandom, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Poe Dameron (Comics)
Genre: F/M, Lost and Found, Star Wars - Freeform, The Force Awakens, The Last Jedi - Freeform, queenskyster, x Reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 02:04:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16525187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenSkyster/pseuds/QueenSkyster
Summary: (Y.N) was a resistance pilot that crashed on a planet, and was presumed dead after the scraps of her plane were found, cockpit empty, blood staining multiple areas, and her leg. Poe is devastated that his girlfriend died in the hands of the First Order. In the years of (Y.N) living on this planet, she started a rebellion against the First Order authority on the planet. The next time the resistance hears from her is when she calls out to them, requesting backup with her old personal code.





	Lost and Found

**Author's Note:**

> Also can be found on tumblr and wattpad

"General." (Y.N) greeted Leia as she came onto the bridge of the ship. She was donned in her orange pilot outfit and helmet in hand.

"(Y.N)." Leia said, smiling at her. "Don't you have a mission? Where is Poe?"

" _Poe_ is being rude and inconsiderate." (Y.N)'s tone was bitter as she was clearly upset. "May I please get permission to-"

"(Y.N)!" Poe came onto a bridge, in the same attire, and stomped towards them. "General, don't listen to a word she says!" (Y.N) turned to him, offended.

"Don't listen to a word I say? Poe, I swear to god!"

"No, I'm not letting you do this!"

The couple continued to argue. Leia stared at the quarrel, both annoyed and confused.

"Both of you, stop fighting and tell me what's going on!" Leia's demands shut them both up. The two stood up straight and looked directly at their general. "What has gotten into you two?" Usually, the two pilots were all over each other. They were the poster couple of the resistance. For them to actually fight is a rare scene, indeed.

"General Leia, as a member worthy of being a part of the Black Squadron, I believe I should have the privilege on going on today's mission, however-"

"(Y.N)-"

"Shut up, Poe!" She yelled and cleared her voice. "I believe I should have the privilege on going on today's mission, but Commander Dameron is not allowing me to do so for the dumbest of reasons. I would like permission to override his say and go with the rest of my teammates." Leia glanced at Poe before looking back at (Y.N).

"And what is that reason?"

"Leia, this is too dangerous for her,” Poe intervened. "She is not experienced enough to handle a fight like this."

"Oh, shut up, Dameron." (Y.N) said. Poe silenced himself. He doesn't need both his boss and girlfriend going at him. (Y.N) sauntered up to him, barely keeping any distance between them. "I am a trained resistance pilot, Poe." Poe took a couple steps back, but (Y.N) stepped forward. "So is Snap; so is Jessika; so is Kare. What makes you think I shouldn't come on this mission?”

Poe was worn out by the argument. He felt like a jerk. (Y.N) was so excited to finally become part of the Black Squadron, having trained for hours upon hours to gain her position. For him to let his feelings get in the way from her doing her job and passion was selfish. He crossed his arms and let out a heavy sigh. "(Y.N), I just don't have a good feeling about this. You just got promoted and you have little to no experience out there in the battlefield. You can man the station here-"

"That's absolute bullshit! I am meant to be out in the air where all the action is! I'm not just your damn secretary."

"Enough, you two!" Leia shut them up. "You need to stop acting like children and sort this out like adults." She turned to Poe. "As commander, you know you can't be biased towards your girlfriend, Poe." Poe stood his ground. "She is, by all means, allowed to go on the mission." (Y.N) nodded, a smug smile on her face.

"Whoa, whoa!" Said Poe. "It's dangerous out there-"

"That's why the resistance is here, Commander." Leia said. "We are putting our lives on the line to protect the galaxy from the First Order so others don't have to." Poe felt defeated, but knew he was right. The bells in his head were going off loudly and he  could not ignore them. His entire career was built on him trusting his intuition, and look at how far that brought him.

"Thank you, General." (Y.N) sighed, running her hands through her hair and down her face. She looked at Poe, the ice in her stare petrifying him. Swaying her hips, ego very high, she exited the bridge. Poe looked back to Leia as (Y.N) was out of sight.

“We both know she’s as skilled as she is stubborn,” Leia said, calm about the situation. Over their time working together, the General had grown almost as close to (Y.N) as Poe. She smiled reassuringly at the Commander. "She'll be fine, Poe."

Poe sighed, knowing there was nothing in his power to change the result. His shoulders slumped as the door of the bridge closed. He chased after her, approaching her as she marched.

"(Y.N)!" He called out and put a hand on her shoulder. She slapped his hand away and turned sharply.

"This conversation is over." She sourly hissed. "Leia said I can go on the mission." It was (Y.N)'s turn to sigh. She looked down at her boots, surprising Poe. Her entire shield had come down. "I need to do this, okay? For years now, I had to fight to get to where I am now. I don't need to be brought back down to the level of a trainee." She strolled away from him, probably towards the hanger. He felt his grip loosening the farther away she went. 

Poe couldn't bear the thought of this becoming a rift in their relationship. She and him both knew that Poe was undermining her, acting as if she was unqualified for the job. (Y.N) hated it. She hated it with a passion, and Poe knew that. 

\--

(Y.N) angrily closed a panel on her fighter as she finished repairs. Some idiot routed the power incorrectly, and she had to fix it. 

"Punch it!" She said to her droid as BB-3A powered up the fighter.  _Perfect. She's running smoothly._  "Thanks, BB!" The white and teal ball droid gave a sound, almost like he was happy to be appreciated by his master.

She could hear running. A good twenty or so people were making their way towards her. (Y.N) rolled out from under her fighter and saw fellow pilots getting into their aircrafts. She stopped Jessika Pava as she was running towards her fighter.

"Hey, Jess!" She yelled. Jess looked over to her and smiled, running over to (Y.N)

"You ready for this, (Y.N)?" Jessika asked, clearly pumped.

"You know it!" They give each other a high-five before getting into the respective aircrafts. “Come on, BB-3A.” She put on her helmet and turned on communication. “Can you hear me?” BB-3A gave a sound of approval. (Y.N) gave a nod and settles in. “Black Seven, ready.”

“Good, Black Seven.” She heard through her radio. (Y.N) scoffed. That had to be Poe. (Y.N) was never great at distinguishing voices through the radio system, but she could feel the sourness in his voice. (Y.N) took off as soon as the giant door opened, flying into the abyss of space. She whooped as adrenaline ran through her, causing her friends to do the same. Her whooping was the cause of a domino effect, and she did this every time as a sign of good luck. It just became routine to cheer. They were pilots doing what they love; the yelling seemed reasonable. They could hear the other pilots laughing.

They soon approached the cruiser. (Y.N)’s fear continued to grow, but also her adrenaline. Harmful thoughts plagued her.  _What if Poe was right? I don't have as much experience as the other pilots._

“This is Commander Poe Dameron,  _Black One._ Let’s get this done, people.” Though they just had a fight, hearing his voice comforted her, reassured her. She was a resistance pilot and needed to believe so. As the pilots got closer, they saw a swarm of TIE fighters erupted from the cruiser and towards them. 

“Ah, shit,” Kare said. 

“Tell me about it, “ said Snap.

“We gotta break!” Poe yelled. The line of X-wings broke as each was being chased by a number of TIE fighters. (Y.N) dodged the laser being shot at her from the one TIE fighter that decided to make her its next target. She cringed as some of the shots landed on her. She shot down one of the TIE fighters which was hot on Jessika’s tail. (Y.N)'s palms were sweaty and her heart beat fast. Her senses were both heightened and numbed. Her brain could not register what she was doing; all she knew at this very moment was to shoot down anything in sight. Her anger for the First Order rose the longer she sat in the pilot's seat, but so did her determination. She shot down another TIE fighter which was coming right towards her and her mouth twitched up into a cocky smile.

The battle was a fifty-fifty shot. 

The one fighter which was tailing (Y.N) turned to two, then three, then four. She was now flying from five TIE fighters. She took a sharp U-turn and shot through two of them, flying through the gap, turning at an angle, as the other three chased her.

A blaring red came from her console and caught (Y.N)’s attention. Her shields were starting to become unnervingly low. She noticed four more TIE fighter’s joined the party. Wide eyes, she felt the feeling of dread setting in. Her heart had dropped to her stomach as she realized she was outnumbered and losing her means of defense.

“BB, get down there and fix those shields!” (Y.N) called and BB-3A ducked into the ship. A laser shot towards (Y.N) barely skimming the glass which encased the cockpit of her fighter. She gave a small squeal, and it did not go unnoticed.

“(Y.N)?” Poe’s voice came through the radio, but, of course, (Y.N) could not tell. “You okay? What’s happening?” (Y.N) glanced at the lowering meter of her shields.

“Shields are low with twenty percent remaining.” (Y.N) said with a cool tone. She held her composure, making sure not to panic. She was a Resistance pilot, and needed to act like so. “I don’t know if BB can fix them in time!”

“(Y.N)!” Jess yelled. She tried to make her way to (Y.N), but was occupied herself. “Someone get to (Y.N)!”

Poe spotted (Y.N)’s starfighter as it was getting tailed and attacked by the First Order TIE fighters. With determination and panic flooding his face, he tried to make his way to her. Out of no where, a TIE fighter blocked his back and shot at his starfighter, making him derail from his path.

“(Y.N), get out of here!” Poe shouted as he tried to shake his own posse off his tail. “Go! Leave; we’ll handle this!” For once in his career, he was panicking and could not think of anything. Everyone could hear the desperation and panic in his cacophony. 

“I’ve gotten out of range.” (Y.N)’s voice rang through the intercoms. Poe sighed in relief, his heart coming back to a more tolerable pace. 

(Y.N) stopped herself. She was a member of The Resistance, a pilot! There is no such thing as retreat! “How are those shields looking, BB?” BB-3A came back up and beeped worriedly, almost as if the droid knew what (Y.N) was about to do. “Only thirty percent? Well, here we go! Hold on to something, BB!” She heard the droid’s scared beeps and laughed a little bit. She dove head first into the sea of danger, ready to win.

She was sick and tired of being doubted.

She was sick and tired of hesitating.

She knew the pilots could handle this if she left, but that would be giving up.

She needed this win and needed it  _bad_.

Speeding, the adrenaline rush at it's high, she shot at multiple TIE fighters, lifting some weight from her fellow Resistance members.

"(Y.N)!" Poe yelled, shocked by the sight of (Y.N)'s fighter racing back into battle. "What are you doing? Get out of here!"

"Sorry, commander,“ (Y.N)'s voice was smooth and calm as she took down another TIE fighter, "but I'm not leaving without a win."

"How are your shields looking?" Jess asked as she tried to lose a TIE fighter on her tail.

"About thirty percent, but BB is working on them." (Y.N) jolted forward as she got hit by one of the TIE fighter's shots. BB beeped worriedly. "Never mind! I'm down to twenty-five!"

“Retreat! Those are orders, Black Seven!” Poe spit out. 

"Sorry,  _commander_ , but I don't back down from a fight." (Y.N) continued to speed through the battlefield and take down more of the enemy, but she had gained an extra two behind her, making a total of three. She gave out a mix of a growl and a yell as she got hit again. "Shields at fifteen!"

"You're not going to make it, (Y.N), if you don't leave at this second." Snap could be heard from the speakers, his voice stern.

"I can do this!" (Y.N) touched the pendant which hung around her neck. It was a gift from Leia herself. The pendent was the infamous symbol of the Resistance.  _May the force be with me._ "Okay, I have a plan!" (Y.N) dove through the hoards of TIE fighters, collecting them like a hive of bees.

"I see it!" Kare shot at them, taking down multiple of them easily. This was a piece of cake compared to the one TIE fighter chasing her. The other members of the Black Squadron followed suit.

BB-3A beeped again, but clearly panicking.

"Shields down to seven percent!" Now the panic was setting in and the adrenaline turned toxic. Her hands trembled as they tried to keep the ship's path steady. Their grip was so tight on the steering that (Y.N)'s knuckles turned white.  _This was not as good of an idea as I had hoped!_ "BB!" The droid tried to repair what was left of the shields. The multitude of TIE fighters had dwindled down to four.

A loud explosion can be heard from (Y.N)'s right side. She looked over and saw her engine was gone.

"Shit!" She turned to face forward. "One of my engines are gone!" Boom! There goes the other one. She held onto the steering tightly, trying the gain control of her flailing fighter. "I can't regain control!" She thought back to her fight with Poe and how he was so rigid on his opinion to keep her from going on the mission. 

_"You don't have the best record, (Y.N)" Poe said, watching as (Y.N) seethed with anger. "You could cost us this."_

_"Why am I always the scapegoat?" (Y.N) whispered harshly to herself, holding her head in her hand in frustration and prepared to vent her frustrations._

She knew she was going to die. There was not way she would survive this. She grew dizzy as the realization set in.

_"Just saying, I can make you happy."_

_"Shut it, poster boy."_

"(Y.N)!" Her name could be heard from different voices, but she was unable to distinguish them. She realized her crash path was towards the nearby planet. Her ears had become numb and vision started to blur. The panic and sense of danger was too much. Soon, she was within the large planet's gravitational pull.

"I'm going to crash!"

"No!" Poe watched as (Y.N) fighter fell faster and faster towards ground. He started to fly to her. Tears welled up in his wide eyes.

"Poe, stop!" Jessika said. "We need to finish this up first."

"Jess-"

"Look, Poe. (Y.N) can take care of herself and you going after her like that is a death wish." Reminded Snap. Poe hesitated, but listened to his friends' advice. He gave a frustrated grunt as he shot down more of the First Order's fighters.

The battle ended with taking out the small cruiser. The battle had been won, but the war was not yet over.

Poe and Jessika landed on the snowy terrain of Drippe K. They called out the name of their missing friend and pilot, but no answer. Their voices cracked with how cold it was and how loudly they shrieked. They would be surprised if (Y.N) could hear them at all in the harsh snowstorm. Poe grew increasingly worried. One part of him wanted to hold her and keep her safe from danger, and the other part wanted to give her the whole "I told you so" conversation. His eyes frantically tried to make out anything recognizable. He shakily ran and tripped over a fallen tree, but got back up and ignored the possibility of any injuries. 

"Poe!" He could faintly hear Jessika's voice. "Poe, over here!" Poe ran over to where she was and her figure soon become clearer in the snow storm. His eyes landed on what Jessika had found: (Y.N)'s crashed starfighter. They scurried down the steep hill, almost falling forward, to reach the crash site. Frantically, they searched, screeching (Y.N)'s name. "I'm checking the cockpit." Jessika shattering the glass encasing of the cockpit with her shoe. Poe climbed on top of the fighter to the droid compartment. BB-3A had been destroyed. Pieces of him were scattered and a crushed version of him, teared open to see the insides, was all that was in the droid compartment. Poe wanted to cry.

"Poe!" Jessika's voice held pure horror. Poe jumped off and rushed over to her, but she met him halfway and grasped his arms. She stammered, unable to say anything understandable. 

"Jess, calm down." Poe soothed, rubbing her shoulders and tried to remain calm for her sake. "What did you find?" Jess led Poe to the horror she discovered. On the other side the fighter, in the snow, were remnants and splatters of blood, which the snow was trying to cover up like a crime scene. Poe ran closer to where the blood was found. As the distance shortened, he saw more blood. Close to the fighter itself was a significantly greater amount of blood than anywhere else at the crash site. He ran and dove to his knees, creating gaps in the thick snow.

"Oh no." Poe whispered to himself, but not even he could hear it. He disregarded ice-cold stinging of the snow on his knees as he shoveled handfuls off of what was beneath.

Then, his hand hit something. He grabbed at it, trying to figure out what it was. The colour orange became more prevalent the more snow came off it it. He picked it up and stared with a look of horror. His face turned white and he felt a stabbing pain in his heart, even though his body went numb. A ringing set in his ears. 

"No, no, no, no, no!" He exclaimed into the cold air, clearly able to see his breath. He tried to tell himself it was not real, but the proof was right there. Even though it was right in front of him, he was holding it, he couldn't believe what he was seeing. Poe could not register. He tried to remove any remaining snow that was trying to disguise it and saw the traumatizing image of (Y.N)'s dismembered leg. Part of her pilot suit was still on it and had been ripped off from the rest. Her shoe was still on the foot. The bone which was supposed to be linked to the pelvis was shattered and bits of it stuck out from the muscle.

 His hands traveled to the calf, shaking. The leg was rigid. From the freezing cold or from rigor mortise, who knew? Jessika held her hands over her mouth, unable to comprehend what just happened.  She almost passed out from the sight.

Dropping the limb and crawling over to the fighter, Poe pushed the fighter's heafty metal form.

"Jess, come on!" His voice shattered with each syllable, sounding out his pain. Jessika ran and pushed the metal with all her might, attempting to help her friend and commander.  

With no warning, the X-wing started to hiss and release smoke. Poe scrambled to his feet.

"Run!" He yelled and grabbed Jessika's wrist. They hid behind a fallen tree, huddled back-up and their hands shielding the backs of their heads.

Boom!

The fighter exploded, leaving nothing left but a pile of burnt scraps and smoke. Poe ran over to the scene once more and searched for any other remains. He dug and dug through the snow and debris. Jessika walked over, giving him a look of pity.

"Poe-"

"She's here, she has to be here!" Tears streamed down his cheeks, making him feel colder than he already was. His entire body was shaking as he sloppily moved burnt and semi-burnt pieces of the ship. He scanned the area, eyes red.

"Poe!" Jessika turned him around and held his shoulders. Poe saw she was sobbing. "She's gone! We can't do anything about it." Jessika loved (Y.N) with all of her heart. They have survived countless times together in times of peril. Poe mimicked Jessika and held her shoulders and made them both drop to the ground as his legs weakened. The realization had finally set in. They held each other as they cried in the blizzard.

"Come on." Jessika said through her tears. "We have to get back and tell the others." Poe gave a weak nod. They stood and made their way to their starships, both shaking from crying and the freezing temperatures.

\--

Leia's entire team was in the bridge of the cruiser, all silent. No one had anything to say, but no one had dry eyes. The main console had projected a hologram of (Y.N) bust. Her face was stern and her eyes were narrowed. Poe did not have the courage to make eye contact with it, so he kept his gaze low.

"Pilot (Y.N) (L.N) was a hero." Leia said, breaking the silence. "She sacrificed herself in the name of the Resistance and allowed for us to win the battle. She will be remembered." More silence ensued.

"Her death wasn't in vain." Entered Jessika. "Her life was completely and utterly devoted to the Resistance." She gave a sour chuckle, but her lip quivered. "That and driving us insane." She meant no harm by it, but it did bring the mood up the tiniest bit. 

_"(Y.N), again?" Jessika said, annoyed at the trainee. (Y.N) was trying to reroute the power on Jessika's starship and failed. Not the first time, either._

_"I'm sorry!" (Y.N) apologized. "I can fix it!"_

More comments about (Y.N) were said, by those who knew her and knew of her. Poe stayed silent, almost unnervingly silent. His mind was not in the same location as his body. 

The sight of crash sight made his stomach drop.

The memory of holding her leg plagued him.

The splattered blood haunted him.

He related the condition to the smashed droid to the condition of his beloved.

He squeezed his mother's ring, trying to comfort himself, but the anxiety stayed high. He almost jumped when Snap put a hand on his shoulder. Poe brushed it off, not wanting the pity.

He failed to protect her.

He failed as a commander.

He failed as a friend.

He failed as a partner.

He felt the way that (Y.N) felt before the chaos: like a failure.

He slept alone that night. For weeks, it haunted him. He would barely say a word to his friends or to anyone. He did not fly, nor did he want to; it always brought him back to the horrific scene. Leia grew worried and so did the rest of the Black Squadron. They tried to help him heal, but they needed to let him mourn. 

He got better, eventually. The Resistance poster boy pilot soon came back, but the memory of  _her_ always stuck with him. No longer did it bring him down. It drove him to do better and to win. It gave him hope.

She gave him hope.


End file.
